10:52 p.m.
2005-03-02
So a valley man was put on one month of house arrest for throwing his 3 month old puppy against a wall, breaking its leg in 3 places. I swear. if i had 10 minutes alone with this person, he wouldnt have legs to break. Some people are so demented. Who would throw a puppy against a wall?? let alone throw a puppy. This summer i was holding lexus before she got too big for me to treat like a big doll, and she accidentally fell out of my hands and hit her head and yelped. i felt so bad, and i still do. she forgave me 30 seconds later, but it was at par with dropping a baby to me. I think maybe how much I adore dogs is strange. I can go for months without seeing my family, but lexy and middy, i have to check up with them. lexus is a wretched little brat, but she's my big baby.. And i mean big. I have a new picture of her and midnight, fighting over space on the love seat.
Tomorrow i turn 21... well really in an hour i turn 21. its kinda making me sad. i dont know why. i think its my fear of not having a party and no one remembering and all that.... that and i think i look now and realize i'm 21... and alone. i want to be alone one minute, and with someone the next.the thing is i havent seen anything resembling a man in a while so its like i feel really bad. All this new found self esteem can only hold up for so long with no outlet for it... but ah well. Tomorrow i get to open my Presents. i wonder what mom got me. Peopel saw the presents under my bed and asked me how i could stand to keep them there unopened. I retorted that i have good control and that i never really get excited by my parent's presents as they're usually odd and reflect the interests that they think i have... although i loved last years paint set. i just wish i had more chance to use it (ie had easal and a better brush than the one the kid came with) Its nice to know my parents care though. Last year dad drove up a cake on his way to a meeting in halifax. This year they had a cake for me before i left home, and a mini party... of family. The only thing missing is 21 candles. mom and dad used a 2 and a 1, but not 21 candles. i wanted to blow a whole lot out to mark the event. I blew out 2 candles when i was 2, and that took a lot of air out of me. I'm really old now....
ah well... Maybe this sookiness will brush off tomorrow
